Too Many Firsts!

I'm normally pretty good at keeping it under control. Well, maybe I'm better at helping others keep it under control. I guess I'm generally good at making others think I have everything under control... Have I said control enough?! Well, this week there is no disguising the fact that my anxiety levels have changed. As I mentioned before, I am house/baby sitting this week. Man, do I love this time with my nephew? I would not give it up for anything in the world. It's the traffic I have to go through every morning and afternoon that I could really do without. I mean REALLY do without. Traffic jams bring out the worst in me! And just when I was at the point today of wanting to let out a little scream in the car when I was by myself and no one else would hear, I suddenly remembered the precious little boy I was headed to. While I was feeling sorry for myself, he was just waiting for me to get there. I think he had been practicing the smile he first showed me all day - he must have known how bad I would be needing that smile. Know what made this stress worth while? This little angel!

The other thing I am allowing to add stress to my life this week is my promotion. Yep, I said promotion. They should be joyful occasions, right? Yes, Laura, of course they should be! But I am working myself up too much and am turning any excitement I have into anxiety. I had forgotten what it was like to know NOTHING and have to learn everything from the ground up. I had forgotten what it was like to have to ask questions rather than know the answers. I honestly had forgotten what it felt like to doubt myself, and right now I am full of self doubt. I know that I am my own worst critic, but that is not the first thing I remember when I get down and out. I know that this time next week, I will have so much more confidence than I do at this moment. I just have to keep reminding myself that. On the bright side, tomorrow is Wednesday already which means the work week is half way over! I hope everyone is enjoying theirs so far. Until next time...